FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
