Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
