just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
