so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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