Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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