You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.