I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.