Don't you send me to vm
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
