I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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