Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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