your room smells of hookers.
And success
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize