So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
