We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
