If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
