You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
