In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
