I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
