he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
