what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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