so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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