Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
