are you so shy because you have an std?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize