Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
