Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
