Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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