the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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