so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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