Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
