In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's blow job season.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
