I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
