he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it glows. i had to have it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
