my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
