were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
