Pregnant stripper...not hot.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
