i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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