She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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