; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm sobbing to NWA
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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