Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
