that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
