apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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