what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
