I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
