Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Your cock deserves a montage
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
