I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's shark week go big or go home
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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