I can tuck mytits in my pants
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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