marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
