i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
