Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
