I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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