he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
