Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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