Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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