It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
