i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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