ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
