Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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