I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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