So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
