I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
