I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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