Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize